Bobby Patton

Keys to Healthy Communication

Keys to Healthy Communication is written purposefully to lead to improved personal physical and mental health, to foster healthier relationships and to develop a better understanding of how to create and participate in a healthier society. The keys of authenticity, empathy, and empowerment open doors to these ends. Every aspect of our world is constantly changing, and each change affects what comes next. Recognizing this is crucial to understanding the intersections between people, attitudes, behaviors, and health. Actions have predictable consequences. The human brain is the central organ that affects and is affected by states of health. These causes and effects can be mapped on a continuum moving from optimal well-being to clinical death. We follow the evolution of the human brain with particular attention to the fight/flight/freeze reaction. Due to the automatic survival system built into our brains, the ability to communicate in healthy ways diminishes when we feel threatened or stressed. That is, when our survival instincts take over, we citizens of the 21st century are each capable of reacting as Neanderthals. Neuroscientific discoveries provide the cornerstone for understanding and controlling harmful responses. Sociological, Psychological, and Communication research provide us with insight into how to rewire our brains to avoid responses that many consider hardwired and unchangeable. The absence of authenticity harms all facets of our lives. For the individual a lack of self-awareness leads to many psychological and emotional problems. Authenticity demands that we be realistic, neither naively hopeful nor overly self-critical. Fear of people seeing the "real me" can cause me to "just put on an act," pretending to be someone at odds with my true inner feelings or beliefs. Relationships develop according to the degree of authenticity reciprocated between parties. Inauthenticity leads to manipulation, game-playing, deception, disappointments, and even abuse. Appropriate self-disclosure is a sign of good mental health, and results in greater competency, adaptability and trust. Deceptions, scams, and untruths have led to a decline of trust in our society. Our perception of reality has been victimized, and trust diminished. Different versions of "reality" result in allegations of "fake news" and distort how people see the world and respond to it. Trust is necessary for our democracy to function and the world as we know it to survive. Empathy is the act of understanding thoughts and feelings of another individual. Physical and mental health are related to the presence and use of empathy. Empathy is a necessary component of a healthy relationship. For a healthy society, the use of empathy includes taking on the experiences of people and cultures with whom we don't necessarily find identity or agreement. Such understanding increases the likelihood of better decision making. Empowerment involves accepting and utilizing our own inherent power in all situations. This means questioning self-imposed limits, refusing to identify external forces as the determiner of actions, and exercising our abilities to self-regulate. It is possible to help others recognize their own power in controlling their own lives. Each of us is responsible for controlling our own behaviors and destinies. This book provides exercises and practices that promote opportunities to develop healthy communication utilizing all 3 keys.